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Expectations and fears ...
'in the meantime I can lament just how far our society still has to go'.

Originally posted by kishenehn at Expectations and fears ...
I feel the need to vent about something a little bit.

A couple of weeks ago, I was out with some friends, including a recently divorced acquaintance who has a third-grade son. The kid is personable and intelligent and likable, and just a little bit ... swishy. That latter point is immensely frustrating to my acquaintance, a classic over-the-top good ol' boy. Anyhow, the kid was there and in a good mood, kind of dancing around and working his hips back and forth, and I overheard his dad snap at him, "Don't do that. People will think you're gay." The kid was crestfallen by the comment.

From what I hear, my acquaintance is terrified that his son will grow up to be a girly-man, and he's been pressuring the kid to act less effiminate. There are lots of things I really want to tell him about that: that there's no way to know if an eight-year-old is gay or not; that gay guys aren't always effiminate, and effiminate guys aren't always gay; and that dad's pressure isn't going to change the way the kid is ... it's just going to cause lots of pain and resentment all around, regardless of whether the kid turns out to be gay or straight.

But I can't say any of those things, at least to him. He's the kind of man who responds to criticism by hardening his resolve, and as the token homo my credibility on this subject would be particularly suspect. I guess if need be, I'll at least be around to point the kid to some resources a few years down the road ... and in the meantime I can lament just how far our society still has to go.


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